Adolescents taking a step too early

Anna Hazare: My Prime Minister

A school teacher in a prestigious school in Delhi was shocked when she accidentally discovered pornographic books in the schoolbag of a class six student. The parents of the child were completely ignorant about their son's adolescent adventures. Recently a 16-year-old girl was brought to our OPD in a state of panic. After repeated assurances and counselling, she said that she was pregnant. She was in a relationship with one of her classmates. Few years ago, only married couples would come into our clinics looking for advice on sexual problems. Today, young boys and girls walk in and ask about methods to enhance sexual powers. Teenagers have been sexually active before. What is new is that young children are getting involved in sexual activities. Urban Indian school children are growing up in a sexually charged atmosphere these days.

In 2002, an international survey was conducted in order to study the sexual behaviour of teenagers. The prevalence of sexually experienced 15 year olds ranged between 28 per cent and 47 per cent in boys and between 10 and 30 per cent in girls. The same survey found that while 27 per cent were involved in sexual activities, eight per cent had had a casual sexual relationship. In India, there is growing evidence that adolescents are becoming more sexually active. In urban areas, about 25 per cent of teenage girls have had sexual intercourse while in rural areas the figure hovers above the 20 per cent mark.

In our hospital, we found out that among girls whose friends were having a physical relationship with a boy, 70 per cent to 80 per cent were engaging in the same behaviour. Only 20 per cent of the girls whose friends were not having a physical relationship had one themselves. It appears that teenage sexual encounters are increasingly taking place outside the ambit of romantic relationships, in a purely sexual context. A teenager's decision to initiate sexual activity is complex and is predicated on a number of factors including physical growth and development, peer group values, media influences, rebellion and dealing with frustration and failures. The other factors that are associated with early sexual activity in teenagers include absence of supportive parenting, history of sexual abuse and indulgence in high risk behaviour. Teen sexuality is being influenced by the mass media now. Television, Internet music videos, sexually explicit lyrics all contribute to adolescents' attitude and behaviour towards sexuality. The Internet provides teens with seemingly unlimited access to information on sex as well as people willing to talk about sex. Sexual content is being regularly marketed to children, preteens and teens. Most entertainment programmes have sexual connotations ranging from bawdy jokes to raunchy dance moves. Teenagers who watch more of sexually explicit content on TV are twice as likely to engage in sexual activities than the ones who do not.

In fact pornography is directly related to sexual abuse, rape, sexual violence and sexual deviancy. Many parents avoid discussing anything to do with sex with their children. Parents should discuss sexuality with their children that is consistent with the values and belief of the family and should also ensure that their own behaviour observed by the teens is appropriate.

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Unfaithfully yours: Priyanka Rai says couples are getting to the root of the infidelity problem and not taking the easy way out of divorce

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Shreya Singhal's marriage did not fall to the tempest. It was, she claims, 'built on rock'. Thus despite having a husband who repeatedly cheated on her and continues to do so, Singhal (40) did not opt for divorce. Financially independent with a great career, Singhal believes that the marriage counsellor and psychologist she consulted helped her make the right choice ' that of getting to the root cause of her husband's problem and not choosing the easy way out.

She lists the reasons for her husband's infidelity - a not too great career and a disturbed childhood. 'He grew up watching an unfaithful father and a disturbed mother. The first time he cheated on me, I was devastated. I wanted to move out but lacked the courage to do so with two young children. I took expert help to delve into the root of the problem. This is the third time in the last 17 years that I am facing his infidelity. But I am working on it to solve the problem,' she says.

Psychologist Rita Mehta suggests, 'Divorce over unfaithfulness is totally unnecessary. Couples can work through the infidelity issue and grow from it. Does a spouse have an affair to purposefully wrong the marriage? I don't think so. Most often when a spouse is unfaithful it has nothing to do with the other spouse. The reasons behind unfaithfulness stem from the need for constant self-gratification, low self esteem and lack of spiritual wisdom and knowledge.'

She details how infidelity works. First the idea to be unfaithful is imagined in the mind. Secondly, it is meditated on with vivid scenes and great clarity. Thirdly, adultery somehow becomes justified because of wrong thinking and cultural influences. Finally the act of adultery is carried out in the physical sense. Sometimes the guilty party feels remorse about defiling the marital bond and won't do it again. No one finds out, case closed. But sometimes the promiscuous acts continue. 'Unfaithfulness in marriage is only a symptom of a greater problem. But so often when marriages break apart couples blame infidelity as the culprit, but it is not the real problem. The real issue is most likely boredom, lack of respect and commitment for one another. Proper guidance from experts can actually guide us to tide over tough times without reacting negatively or taking a wrong step. Today people come to us to us to find a solution. It could be because they are better educated or because of the awareness that this is a problem which rocks every second marriage,' she says.

Malini Garg, now in her 50s, got married to a bureaucrat 27 years ago. The Lucknow-based bureaucrat enjoys a stellar reputation among his colleagues and in the public eye. A few months into the marriage, Garg noticed that her husband had a roving eye and had many indiscriminate affairs. Although he has been sensible enough to keep these secret from the public eye but nothing stopped him from indulging in them. Yet she continues to live with him because of his position and power, which she believes can help her three children. 'There is no way I can stop him. I only have to live with the thought that his power and money are mine and cannot be shared with anyone else. He can go out and have his fun but he will come back home. Many men have approached me in these years as well but I have greater control over myself. But my husband's affairs have always been whimsical. Sometimes he tells me he is conducting experiments on women, sometimes he tells me he is checking his own control, sometimes that he just gave in to a spur-of-the-moment impulse. Sometimes I think of committing suicide but the thought of three unsettled children holds me back,' says Garg. According to Mohit Randeep, counsellor with Mon Foundation, Kolkata, polygamy or extra-marital affairs are not new for India, the land of Khajuraho, Konark and Kamasutra. 'History itself reveals the fact of polygamy which is our basic instinct. If we return to the primitive stage of society before the concept of family was born, there was a culture of free sex. And now in the 21st century we are discussing whether family as a social unit is in peril? Is marriage as an institution losing its sheen? May be this is the right time to talk, but polygamy or extra-marital affairs were very much there since the era of the Mahabharata. 'Sex' came to be regarded as a taboo only with the advent of the Victorian age.'

It is an idea shared by Dipankar De, one of the most admired actors of Bengali cinema who does not believe in platonic love. He thinks sex is the most vital aspect of every man woman relationship. De is in a live in relationship for the last 14 years with one of his co-actors Dolon Roy, almost 30 years his junior. He has left behind a 17-year-old marriage and two daughters. 'A relationship which you hide from the world can't be termed humanistic under any circumstances. I don't feel ashamed to reveal that before Dolon, I had two other extra-marital affairs. But I soon realised the difference between infatuation and love. Now with Dolon I feel I am the king of the world,' he says.

Infidelity sometimes ends in disastrous consequences. As in other states, there are a number of cases of murder due to infidelity reported from Tamil Nadu. Recently Poovarasi, a bank employee in Chennai, killed the three-year-old son of her superior officer with whom she was in an adulterous relationship. When she insisted on getting married, he refused and instead transferred her to another branch. In a fit of rage, Poovarasi caught hold of the officer's son, killed him, packed the body in a suitcase and left it in a bus. She is behind the bars now.

Dr. Sathyanathan, director, Institute of Mental Health, Chennai, says, 'Media becomes an important cause behind the rise of infidelity, as portrayed in serials and films. There was a time when merely saying that a man other than one's husband was handsome was considered a sin. But those times are gone. Now women are sexually empowered.' The number of people like Priya Singhal is on the rise. Unfaithfully yours is becoming an acceptable condition.

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The new generation is paving way for a sexual revolution, TSI finds out

After Irom Sharmila last year, Anna Hazare wins IIPM's 2011 Rabindranath Tagore Peace Prize of Rs. 1cr. To be handed over on 9th May

Winds of change

Radha, an engineer, works for an MNC in Pune. She is married to Vishal. They have a happy married life spanning nearly a decade with two children to show for it. Vishal is bisexual and has an affair with a man Radha is aware of this. She knows Vishal has been involved with other men too. But this has not affected their family life. There is love and happiness in their marriage. 'Most people of our generation know that love and sex are not one and the same. We should be loyal when it comes to love. But sex is more of a physical need just like hunger or thirst,' says Vishal.

A prominent family of Chennai came to meet Dr R. Sathyanathan, director, Institute of Mental Health, to discuss the issue of their only son, a homosexual. When the family insisted that he married a girl of their choice, he told them that he was gay. Dr. Sathyanathan, after a long discussion with the son, advised the family to accept and respect his decision.

Since talks of decriminalisation of homosexuality in India even began to pervade the corridors of power, gay nightlife in cities like Mumbai, Delhi, Kolkata and Bangalore has become more vibrant. These metropolitan cities have become the gateways of the new Indian gay culture with its urban outlook and acceptance of homosexuality. In 2005, Prince Manvendra Singh Gohil from Rajkot publicly came out as gay. He was quickly anointed by the Indian and the world media as the first openly gay royal. He was disinherited as an immediate reaction by his family though they eventually reconciled. Fashion designer Rohit Bal has too openly admitted that he is gay.

According to Malabika from Saffo for Equality (a lesbian rights society), the younger generation is definitely more liberal about homosexuality. 'There is a change in the perception. People are accepting that homosexuality is not a disease but an orientation. However, there are miles to go and it is much tougher in case of girls than boys,' she says.

The TSI survey reveals most people do not expect their prospective wives to be virgins. The same survey also shows that youngsters are now losing their virginity at a much younger age. The survey seems to reflect acceptance of today's reality.

Psychotherapist Shilpa Mogon agrees, 'Virginity has lost its sacred value. Saving your virginity for marriage is even laughed at these days by some people."

One reason for the survey result could be heightened awareness amongst the youngsters. "Today's youth is more focused on sexual compatibility with their partners before getting married. To do so, they understand that one has to lose virginity. Now comparing these two, they find virginity is not that vital. Lack of compatibility can break a marriage,' says Vishal. Reema, a doctor, was not happy in her marriage. She and her husband were incompatible. For a few years, she lay low but later got involved with her husband's best friend, a married man himself. They discovered that they were compatible in every manner and decided to be together. They left the city to start a new life. Their families initially opposed this but later came around.

Dr C R Chandrashekhar, psychiatrist with Nimhans, Bangalore, thinks that the transformation in the way Indian people look at sex and relationships is too negligible. 'I have come across a number of cases in which a person complains of cheating against his/her partner but very few are willing to forgive. I have seen many surveys say that a good number of youngsters are ready to forgive their partner if they cheat on them. But my question is how many have forgiven their partners in reality? It is not even one per cent. So whatever the impact of globalisation or corporate lifestyle may be, in India, infidelity is still considered a sin and majority of couples don't tolerate it,' he says. Dr K A Ashok Pai, a psychiatrist, says, 'The individual has realised that there are many more materially important things to be attended to than the biological functioning of a living organism which is just natural.'

Experts believe that in another 20 years, words like sex and taboo are going to have mutually exclusive uses. 'We generally don't want to break our century-old social norms. But our surroundings and the winds of globalisation has transformed the way people look at sex and relationship,' says Mohit Randeep, a psychiatric counsellor associated with Mon Foundation, Kolkata.

Believe it or not, sexologist of the Government Medical College in Amritsar Dr Shyam Sunder Dipti receives seven to eight calls everyday from young boys and girls. He can notice the change in their attitude towards sex. They talk freely about sex, ask things without any hesitation whatsoever.

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An advertising blitzkrieg has turned the market for sexual performance-enhancing drugs and contraceptives red hot in India

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Getting high on love-making drugs

An advertising blitzkrieg has turned the market for sexual performance-enhancing drugs and contraceptives red hot in India

Looking at advertisement trends, it appears as if every other commercial on television or in print is for either a drug promising men improved bedroom performance or a pill that lets women get rid of unwanted pregnancies.

Well, if you find these already embarrassing, particularly when your children ask, "What's this medicine for," brace for a much bigger ad blitzkrieg. The market for pharmaceutically stimulated sex is booming. Be it Dabur Pharma, Mankind Pharma, Cipla, Ranbaxy or Piramal Healthcare, everyone seems to be betting big on performance enhancing drugs and emergency contraceptives.

Even the chemists, who, till the other day, shied away from displaying these products prominently, have now started flaunting them. "There is a good demand for these products. Since one gets to see them more often in TV and in newspapers, people are slowly becoming aware of these products. In fact, over 30 per cent of my annual profit now comes from the sale of these products," says Manoj Sharma, a chemist in the Daryaganj area of the national capital.

So, what's the reason behind this sudden rise in demand of these products? Experts point out that even though these products have been in the market for the last couple of decades, the awareness level was low. "In India, anything related to sex was considered a taboo not too long back. However, with rising education level, one can see a drastic change among the people. And riding this growing awareness, pharma companies in India are now focussing more on contraceptives and performance enhancing drugs. Pharma companies are now investing a huge portion of their advertising budget in promoting these drugs which form a major chunk of the overall OTC (over-the-counter) drugs segment in India," says Sarabjit Kour Nangra, vice-president, research, Angel Broking. And why not, when the Indian OTC market, which is estimated to be worth $1.7 billion as of now, is all set to grow at a compound annual growth rate of 13-14 per cent for the next five years.

Further, it is not the only the pre-sex drug for men that is hot. The after-sex drug for females is flying off the shelves too. The contraceptive from Cipla, i-Pill, used to prevent unplanned pregnancy, recorded huge growth and was the second-largest selling drug in India in 2009. In fact, as per ORG IMS, i-Pill features in the list of top 300 pharma products with annual expected sales of around Rs 800 - 900 million. Thanks to a sustained advertisement salvo, i-Pill, despite being expensive (It costs Rs 75 a tablet), is selling like hot cakes. If industry sources are to be believed, Cipla has spent over Rs 200 million on advertisements for this drug alone.

In fact, this is the reason why Piramal Healthcare recently acquired this oral contraceptive brand from Cipla for a whopping Rs 950 million. 'In 2007, we created 'i-pill' which is currently India's leading OTC emergency contraceptive brand. We are pleased that Piramal Healthcare, which too has a strong OTC portfolio, has bought the brand and are confident that they will successfully accelerate the future growth of this brand,' says Amar Lulla, joint managing director, Cipla Ltd.

Even the OTC division of Delhi-based Mankind Pharma, one of India's fastest growing pharma firms, has witnessed rapid growth over the last couple of years. And the credit goes to its condoms, sold under the brand name 'Manforce', and an emergency contraceptive pill called 'Unwanted 72.' They annually contribute over Rs 250 million and Rs 200 million respectively to the company coffers. "During our initial 13 years, we concentrated on market penetration. Our 6,000 medical representatives went to doctors all over the country and we were completely selling products based on doctors' prescriptions. That still remains our core strength. However, we analysed the market and found out that there was a huge demand for pre-sex drugs and contraceptives in India. It is then that we came up with Manforce Condoms which became a runaway hit. This encouraged us to go for more promotions. But we believe in advertising only those products which we think need to be advertised like Unwanted-72 and Manforce Condoms," R. C. Juneja, founder and managing director of Mankind Pharma tells TSI. In fact, one can gauge the potential of these products from the fact that the company has kept aside a whopping Rs 500 million for the promotion of these products alone this year. And why not? While Mankind is looking at a growth of 30-35 per cent in its overall turnover, for OTC products, its target is 100 per cent growth.

Even regional players are raking in big bucks by focussing on performance enhancing drugs. For instance, the Kochi-based Kunnath Pharmaceuticals, manufacturer of a herbal aphrodisiac called Muslipower X-tra (an ayurvedic performance enhancing drug), expects a ten-fold jump in its turnover from Rs 400-500 million to Rs 4-5 billion in the next couple of years. And that's the reason it's leaving no stones unturned to make the brand visible not only in India but also beyond the borders. To this end, the company has even taken up a mega sports promotion initiative at an investment of Rs 1 billion. The company not only plans to promote soccer in India but is also sponsoring Sri Lanka's Wayamba Elevens for the Champions League T20 Tournament in South Africa. What's more? Musli Power X-Tra is also a sponsor of the upcoming Commonwealth Games in New Delhi. K. C. Abraham, owner of Kunnath Pharmaceuticals, says, 'Musli Power X-Tra is a performance enhancing drug. We started off with smaller sports sponsorships and endorsements. But we are now entering the big league.'

Certainly it's the advertising that has done the trick for these companies. There is no other reason why Indian equivalents of Viagra like Kamagra from Ajanta Pharma, Caverta from Ranbaxy, Penegra from Zydus Cadilla and Suhagra from Cipla are all selling like hot cakes. "An OTC brand can become successful in pharma sector if it's linked to a desired emotion and that's exactly what these players are doing. But, it is vital that the product is effective and is able to deliver the promise because no amount of marketing can yield profits for a failed product,' a brand analyst tells TSI.

If the current trends continues, one can surely expect a strong demand for more pre and post sex drugs that make it to market. Although the winners aren't yet clear, Indian men and women now have a product pool to choose from, a pool that was kept away from the consumer's eyes even two decades back.
The article is sourced from The Sunday Indian.

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Small town mentality on its way out

When Govind Kumar from Jehanabad district of Bihar decided to marry a widow, his family members, Bhumihars, were up in arms. They even threatened to disinherit him. These pressure tactics did not work. Ultimately, his family accepted his choice. Govind says, 'Virginity is an over-exaggerated concept in India. I am happy with my wife. People still look down on me in my locality but I do not attach any importance to their archaic views.'

Sex is no longer a taboo in small towns. There has been a marked shift in people's attitude towards sex even in rural India. Rajesh Ahuja, sexologist at Ranchi Mental Hospital, says, 'People now openly discuss problems related to sex and marriage with doctors and counsellors. These things were quite unheard of even a decade back. Extramarital sex is on the rise and so are broken marriages.'

Navneet Kaur (23), a student of Punjab University, does not agree that a lot have changed. 'Though society has transformed but taboos about sexual issues are still there in our society. I studied in a reputed school in Ludhiana. In the 9th class, there was a chapter on reproductive system. Our science teacher did not teach this chapter and just asked us to study it ourselves and write to him for any clarification," she says.

Ritika, a research scholar at Punjab University, Chandigarh, says, 'We Indian people, especially the men, are always ready to have sex but when it comes to talking about sex, we keep mum. However, the young generation has started talking about sex with an open mind. Here in the university I know two boys who are avowed gays and they never feel ashamed. The time is changing, so is the Indian society but we have a long way to go.'

Cities like Allahabad, Kanpur, Patna, Nagpur and Ahmedabad each has at least one meeting point for gays. Rajesh Srivastava, a retired professor of Meerut University, says, 'As a nation, we have not accepted any sexual relationship out of wedlock. The situation has improved in the metros but for small cities, I cannot say the same thing. A guy demanding sex in a pre-marital relationship is considered lecherous, the partner demanding a non-conventional sexual desire is considered unholy. The situation is not very encouraging.'

But, change is there nonetheless. Ankita writes in a Web forum: 'When two young people are together and hormones are bubbling, it is very difficult to stay in control. Whatever argument we put to justify pre-marital or teenage sex, matter of fact is they are mere justifications. The larger question of enjoyment of sex is directly related to upbringing.'

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